Coinbase Stumbles in Q2 2025: Earnings Fall Short of Wall Street’s Crystal Ball

Another quarter, another 'adjustment'—Coinbase's Q2 earnings just whiffed analyst targets. Here's how the crypto giant fumbled the bag.

The miss heard 'round Crypto Twitter

Wall Street's spreadsheet jockeys predicted sunshine—Coinbase delivered drizzle. No exact figures? Classic 'selective transparency' from an exchange that moonlights as a publicly traded company.

Regulatory deja vu

While earnings tanked, you can bet the compliance department's budget didn't. Another quarter of 'working constructively with regulators'—just don't ask about the legal retainers.

Silver lining playbook

Pro traders still love the platform (when it's not down during volatility). Retail? Let's just say the 'educational resources' aren't stopping them from buying memecoins at 3AM.

Bottom line: In crypto, even the blue chips trade like altcoins. Maybe next quarter they'll 'earn' those analyst price targets—right after the Fed cuts rates and Bitcoin rallies 200%. Any day now.