Want to Make $400,000 for 18 Weeks of Work? Just Make an NFL Practice Squad

Forget trading memecoins—NFL practice squads now offer better risk-adjusted returns than most crypto portfolios.

The New Math of Athletic Compensation

Eighteen weeks nets players $400,000—that's $22,222 per week for benchwarming duties. No leverage, no liquidation risks, just guaranteed fiat payouts that would make any hedge fund manager blush.

Performance metrics? Simply avoid tearing an ACL during warm-ups. Beats monitoring 27 different trading screens while your altcoins bleed out.

Wall Street's rookie analysts grind 100-hour weeks for half that compensation. Practice squad members just need to memorize playbooks and avoid tweeting controversial takes during games.

Traditional finance still can't compete with professional sports' efficiency at converting physical capital into cold hard cash. Your move, Goldman Sachs.

Cowboys Lead NFL Franchise Valuations, CNBC Says

The players are paid by franchises worth billions of dollars.

The average NFL franchise is worth $7.65 billion, up 18% from last year, according to CNBC, which put out its annual list Thursday.

The Cowboys once again have the highest valuation, at $12.5 billion, up from $11 billion in 2024. The franchise last year "generated about $300 million in sponsorship revenue, by far the most in the NFL, according to a person familiar with the matter," CNBC said, adding that it was the only team to bring in more than $1 billion in revenue for a second straight year.

Even the lowest-ranked franchise by CNBC's measure, the Arizona Cardinals, is worth $5.9 billion.

Of the 100 most-watched U.S. telecasts last year, 72 were NFL games, per Nielsen, and CNBC noted that "media rights deals now generate an average of $12.4 billion annually, according to a person familiar with the contracts."